Slut skills are useful in every country.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
