You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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