So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
