i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
