He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
