2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
