Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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