i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
