$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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