There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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