i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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