The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
