If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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