im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
