his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize