She's JV to your varsity
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Actions speak louder than pants.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize