hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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