haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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