she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
