Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
