just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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