Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize