I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
