At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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