Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
