i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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