Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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