What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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