At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
