bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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