I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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