After last night, I could never be a politician.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
