Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think i have herpe
just one?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
