Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize