sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
