You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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