3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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