I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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