so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
