I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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