just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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