I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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