maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
