Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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