You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
