Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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