I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
