i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
