I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
