Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
