You're my little dorito
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
