I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
