YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
