His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
