Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
