Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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