I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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