Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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