You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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