How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
