just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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