Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
